Summary of the First Five Books

And that is that. GRRM had better finish Winds of Winter soon because now I don't know what to do with myself.

Where are we, then?

• Arya Stark is still across the sea in Braavos learning to be an assassin. Eventually she'll come back and kill everyone and avenge the Starks and take the Iron Throne. Stands to reason.
• Sansa Stark is hanging out at the Eyrie with Petyr Littlefinger Baelish who is plotting... something. Is he on the same side as Varys, Ilyrio and Jon Connington? I'm not sure.
• Jon Snow was commander of the Watch and was going to reform it and stop Others from invading. But now he's possibly dead. (I suppose the kingdom being in disarray would suit forces north of the wall, too. Is Varys working with the Children? Are they working not to restore Aegon to the throne but to return south themselves?)
• Bran Stark is hanging out with Children of the Forest learning to supernaturally spy on everyone. And possibly also influence events.
• Catelyn Stark is a zombie and hanging out near the riverlands.
• Tywin Lannister was killed by Tyrion.
• Tyrion Lannister is across the sea trying to get to Dany by way of getting Brown Ben Plumm to overthrow the Yunkai'i.
• Jaime Lannister was last seen capturing castles in the riverlands, but is now heading off to see Catelyn with Brienne.
• Cersei Lannister is about to face trial.
• Kevan Lannister was killed by Varys and weird pale children.
• Robert Baratheon the usurper of the Targaryens is dead.
• Renly Baratheon was killed by his brother Stannis Baratheon's sorceress friend Melisandre.
• Stannis Baratheon was last seen trying to capture Winterfell with a very cold and starving army but there is one unreliable report that he's dead.
• Doran Martell wants vengeance on the Lannisters and is about to meet at least one Targaryen to help restore to the throne.
• Quentyn Martell died trying to steal a dragon.
• Danaerys Targaryen is across the sea riding a dragon and running into Dothraki. Maybe if she can get her act together she can come and claim the Iron Throne of Westeros and in doing so find out it's not hers to claim any more since Aegon is still alive.
• Barristan Selmy has, rightly or wrongly, restarted a war against the Yunkai'i.
• Aegon Targaryen is off trying to capture Storm's End and ultimately the whole kingdom and the iron throne.
• Theon Greyjoy was last seen in the snow somewhere near Stannis, having bumped into his sister Asha who was going to be burned by Stannis to appease the red god. 
• Euron Greyjoy is sailing across the sea to rescue Dany from various attackers and steal her back to Westeros. He has a dragon taming horn that might be handy.

At a guess, a succession of people will win the throne and get overthrown by the next disaster. Connington and Aegon will overthrow the Lannisters in time for scary monsters from the north and general wintry mass starvation. Dany will come along at the end with dragons to help out. Aegon will die leaving her in charge. Somehow Littlefinger will end up with Winterfell. Arya will turn up and kill him and all the other people on her list. The kingdom will be at peace until Arya usurps Dany by warging the dragons. Or something.

Yep, I have absolutely no idea where this is going next, but it's been quite a ride.

AFfC summary

What just happened? The downfall of Cersei happened. In retrospect that seemed inevitable. She took over from the very able Tywin, but didn't take anyone's advice, and ignored too many warnings and made too many mistakes. She tried Tryion and Littlefinger-style manipulation and it all backfired. Ultimately it looks like she is a pawn and not a player. I'm not yet sure what it means for the other Lannisters. Will Jaime and Kevan be able to sort things out?

Sam travelled to Oldtown, briefly meeting Arya along the way. Presumably now he'll study to be a maester and return to the wall.

Arya is having adventures in Braavos. I'm not sure what will happen to her now she has killed Dareon. She'll either advance to the next stage of assassin training, to return later to effect a major plot twist, or else be booted out of the cult and go on to have further adventures.

The Ironmen are trying to woo Dany to their cause of overthrowing Westeros. They are also threatening Oldtown.

The Mage is trying to get Dany to, do what, exactly? Fullfill her part in a prophecy to save the universe?

The Dornish are trying to woo Dany to their cause of wiping out the Lannisters.

The Tyrells are trying to save themselves from the Ironmen and secure their daughter's place beside Tommen. That's all looking pretty precarious.

Petyr is trying to win the Eyrie and Winterfell, though with the coming of Dany / Monsters from the North, all this seems a bit of a sideshow, for all his clever scheming.

Stannis has lost a castle but possibly gained some ships. I'm not sure what else he has been up to on the wall. Keeping the realm safe from monsters, presumably, but the realm seems mostly unaware of it for now.

Brienne went looking for Sansa and found Catelyn, who is about to hang her.

The Great Septon is raising an army, and will probably try to overthrow the Lannisters.

Lancel is off to join the Great Septon's army, but it occurs to me he feels guilty about the whole business with Cersei. Might he rescue her?

Meanwhile we know very little about the North. A lot of the North was held by Ironmen but they are distracted elsewhere now. Roose Bolton is out there doing things; helping or hindering Lannisters, I forget which. Who knows what is happening at the wall and beyond it, with Bran and Coldhands. We also don't know what Tyrion is up to. We still don't know what Rickon Stark is doing. Mance Rayder won't have been idle.

Lots of people are "presumed" dead, but probably will turn up later: Brienne, Loras, The Original Hound, GREGOR, Davos, Theon, Benjen Stark (remember him?).

And Dany is in Meereen, ready to take over Westeros, reunite the kingdoms, end slavery, thwart the monsters beyond the wall, and bring back the age of dragons. Any day now!

ASoS Summary

So were have we got to?

Of the five kings fighting for the throne, Joffrey, Renly, Robb and Balon Greyjoy are dead. Only Stannis is left, and Tommen, but with Tywin also dead, it's Cersei left in the driving seat and we are under the impression that she is not the cleverest Lannister.

Jaime is still at King's Landing, so he might help her, but for now they have fallen out. Tyrion is presumably going to escape from King's Landing, but we're not sure yet since we last saw him killing Tywin and he might get caught.

Of the Starks, Sansa is stuck with Petyr at the Eyrie. Bran has crossed the wall with Coldhands looking for the Three Eyed Crow he dreamt about after he was pushed out of the window by Jaime way back when. Arya has boarded a ship and might be heading North to meet Jon Snow. Jon Snow has returned and is now Lord Commander of the Watch. We never did find Benjen Stark. Catelyn is in the woods somewhere near Harrenhal with the outlaws Arya escaped from. I don't know what became of Rickon but he's out there somewhere, too.

The Hound is lost and left for dead, but I bet we haven't seen the last of him.

Something is happening in the Iron Islands -- someone will replace Balon Greyjoy. I'm still not entirely sure what happened to Theon, but he might well be dead. Asha conquered some places but presumably she's been summoned back to the Iron Islands to help choose a new king.

The Wildlings are probably going to be allowed to settle the Gift, just south of the wall, because there are scary Others on the way.

Dany has conquered some places and is has stopped in Meereen for now, but at some point she will be on the way with dragons.

ACoK Summary

The first book, A Game of Thrones, established the world order. King Robert was the king and Ned and his lovely family lived happily at Winterfell and the seven kingdoms were at peace. Then Cersei and Jaime had to fuck everything up by arranging the death of Robert. Everyone was sufficiently suspicious and annoyed by this that they all had different ideas about who should be king. And so instead of working hard in the fields and storing extra food for the upcoming decade-long winter, they decided to burn all the fields and kill all the healthy young men in battles.

When we started out in A Clash of Kings, there were four kings: Joffrey of course; Robb who was declared King in the North; Stannis who probably should be the king, and Renly who seemed to come out of nowhere.

Stannis saw off Renly. The Lannisters saw off Stannis (at least for now; we're not quite sure what happened to him after the battle). Robb won some minor battles but I think he has some big battles still to come.

Meanwhile Sansa no longer has to give Joffrey heirs, but she might have to give him bastards. Arya had a great adventure escaping from King's Landing with Yoren and ending up as Bolton's maid. But Bolton's bastard has burned Winterfell and is presumably ravaging the north in general for some reason or other. Arya has escaped and is now heading for Riverrun.

Theon forsook the Starks and mainly managed to help Bolton's bastard and otherwise spread misery.

Jon went out on a great ranging and discovered quite a lot about what the wildlings are up to, such as that they were searching for something but are now heading south. He's going undercover to find out more. But I'm worried that he'll go so deep undercover that neither he nor anyone else will know if he is wildling or watchman.

Bran had a bit of a go at being lord of Winterfell but ended up on the run and will probably have an adventure a bit like Arya's, as will Osha and Rickon.

The other forces of Winterfell are around somewhere. I expect they will help Robb but I also expect it will be a long time before he gets home.

Catelyn tried to stop Renly and Stannis from fighting but has ended up largely forgotten at Riverrun. All that fending off Tywin Lannister was probably for nothing since they turned up unexpectedly at King's Landing instead. In fact I wonder if the whole Riverrun thing was just a feint.

Jaime Lannister spent the whole book in a dungeon. He was almost rescued by Tyrion; he might have been killed by Catelyn.

Tyrion pretty much ensured the battle at King's Landing was won, but I suspect he won't receive any thanks for it. Everyone is either annoyed about the fires, wants to kill him, or has failed to notice what he has done.

And Dany trekked across the desert, had some adventures, and his now heading back with her dragons and some Dothraki to Westeros, or wherever Ilyrio wants her to go.

This has been the traditionally depressing middle book of the trilogy and I am sure that in the third part, good will prevail over evil and everyone will live happily ever after.

Who will end up on the throne? Arya is sufficiently badass to become the first Queen of the Seven Kingdoms. Or it might be Dany. Bran has superpowers that would be very useful for a king, or possibly a hand. Or he might be Varys: The Next Generation. It can't be a Lannister, surely, or else why bother with all these novels? And it had better not be a Greyjoy or a Bolton. Personally I think the best possible king would be Hodor.