Ooh, a Jaime POV chapter. This should be informative!
The last time we saw Jaime he was being given booze and questioned by a grieving Catelyn who seemed to get exasperated with his answers before telling Brienne to bring her sword, which did not bode well for Jaime.
It turns out that the sword was merely used to threaten him into promising to persuade Tyrion to release Sansa and Arya before releasing him. And so Jaime finds himself on a boat with Brienne and Ser Cleos (who spends his days travelling between King's Landing and Riverrun carrying messages negotiating between Robb and Tyrion) and being chased by Ser Robin Ryger who is under orders of the Castellan of Riverrun to bring Jaime back, dead or alive, since Catelyn presumably didn't clear this scheme with the proper authorities.
There is some good banter, amidst which Jaime uses the tactic of smiling knowingly, because "men will read all sorts of things into a knowing smile, if you let them", which I must remember to find an opportunity to try.
Anyway, Brienne manages to save Jaime with some superhuman feat of scaling a cliff and hurling a boulder at Robin's boat.
And so I am reminded of an essay by John C Wright about how to write female characters. GRRM seems to be trying it all. One thing you can do is write a male character who is physically strong and good at violence and give him a woman's name: Brienne. Another approach is to realise that there is strength in femininity and have your women characters solve problems by way of diplomacy, compromise and reconciliation, which is embodied by Catelyn, who previously tried to get Renly and Stannis to shake hands and is now attempting to break a deadlock by trusting the honour of Jaime Lannister to save her daughters. I actually think there is a chance that might work, or is at least as likely to as any other possible scheme at this point.
Oh, and we now know for certain that Jaime was not behind the knife attack on Bran. He is as confused about that as anyone. It could be Cersei but Jaime thinks that would not quite be in character for her, and he would know. My current pet theory is that it is a friend of Bran's who thought he would be better off dead. Maester Luwin would be a possibility except he's now dead and such a reveal would not be dramatic enough. So which Stark could it have been?
Wednesday, 31 October 2018
ASoS Prologue
Former steward to Sam Tarly's boss, animal lover and incel Chett, is organising a rebellion against and escape from the watch on account of he thinks he's on the losing side. He reckons he can do away with old Craster and have his wives and daughters (same people).
In between kicking dogs and taunting Sam Tarly, he makes sure his merry band know who they are supposed to be killing and when, and waits for the third watch. Except it snows, which ruins all his chances of escape because it's really easy to follow people in the snow. So he goes to kill Tarly anyway in what seems like a pointlessly self-destructive act. But he's saved from his foolishness when three blasts of the horn sound and Tarly wakes up. But three blasts means Others, so he might well be dead anyway, and in a much scarier way than he'd expected. So he wets himself.
Ah, that chapter had a little bit of everything. Good to see GRRM is still on form!
In between kicking dogs and taunting Sam Tarly, he makes sure his merry band know who they are supposed to be killing and when, and waits for the third watch. Except it snows, which ruins all his chances of escape because it's really easy to follow people in the snow. So he goes to kill Tarly anyway in what seems like a pointlessly self-destructive act. But he's saved from his foolishness when three blasts of the horn sound and Tarly wakes up. But three blasts means Others, so he might well be dead anyway, and in a much scarier way than he'd expected. So he wets himself.
Ah, that chapter had a little bit of everything. Good to see GRRM is still on form!
Tuesday, 23 October 2018
ACoK Summary
The first book, A Game of Thrones, established the world order. King Robert was the king and Ned and his lovely family lived happily at Winterfell and the seven kingdoms were at peace. Then Cersei and Jaime had to fuck everything up by arranging the death of Robert. Everyone was sufficiently suspicious and annoyed by this that they all had different ideas about who should be king. And so instead of working hard in the fields and storing extra food for the upcoming decade-long winter, they decided to burn all the fields and kill all the healthy young men in battles.
When we started out in A Clash of Kings, there were four kings: Joffrey of course; Robb who was declared King in the North; Stannis who probably should be the king, and Renly who seemed to come out of nowhere.
Stannis saw off Renly. The Lannisters saw off Stannis (at least for now; we're not quite sure what happened to him after the battle). Robb won some minor battles but I think he has some big battles still to come.
Meanwhile Sansa no longer has to give Joffrey heirs, but she might have to give him bastards. Arya had a great adventure escaping from King's Landing with Yoren and ending up as Bolton's maid. But Bolton's bastard has burned Winterfell and is presumably ravaging the north in general for some reason or other. Arya has escaped and is now heading for Riverrun.
Theon forsook the Starks and mainly managed to help Bolton's bastard and otherwise spread misery.
Jon went out on a great ranging and discovered quite a lot about what the wildlings are up to, such as that they were searching for something but are now heading south. He's going undercover to find out more. But I'm worried that he'll go so deep undercover that neither he nor anyone else will know if he is wildling or watchman.
Bran had a bit of a go at being lord of Winterfell but ended up on the run and will probably have an adventure a bit like Arya's, as will Osha and Rickon.
The other forces of Winterfell are around somewhere. I expect they will help Robb but I also expect it will be a long time before he gets home.
Catelyn tried to stop Renly and Stannis from fighting but has ended up largely forgotten at Riverrun. All that fending off Tywin Lannister was probably for nothing since they turned up unexpectedly at King's Landing instead. In fact I wonder if the whole Riverrun thing was just a feint.
Jaime Lannister spent the whole book in a dungeon. He was almost rescued by Tyrion; he might have been killed by Catelyn.
Tyrion pretty much ensured the battle at King's Landing was won, but I suspect he won't receive any thanks for it. Everyone is either annoyed about the fires, wants to kill him, or has failed to notice what he has done.
And Dany trekked across the desert, had some adventures, and his now heading back with her dragons and some Dothraki to Westeros, or wherever Ilyrio wants her to go.
This has been the traditionally depressing middle book of the trilogy and I am sure that in the third part, good will prevail over evil and everyone will live happily ever after.
Who will end up on the throne? Arya is sufficiently badass to become the first Queen of the Seven Kingdoms. Or it might be Dany. Bran has superpowers that would be very useful for a king, or possibly a hand. Or he might be Varys: The Next Generation. It can't be a Lannister, surely, or else why bother with all these novels? And it had better not be a Greyjoy or a Bolton. Personally I think the best possible king would be Hodor.
When we started out in A Clash of Kings, there were four kings: Joffrey of course; Robb who was declared King in the North; Stannis who probably should be the king, and Renly who seemed to come out of nowhere.
Stannis saw off Renly. The Lannisters saw off Stannis (at least for now; we're not quite sure what happened to him after the battle). Robb won some minor battles but I think he has some big battles still to come.
Meanwhile Sansa no longer has to give Joffrey heirs, but she might have to give him bastards. Arya had a great adventure escaping from King's Landing with Yoren and ending up as Bolton's maid. But Bolton's bastard has burned Winterfell and is presumably ravaging the north in general for some reason or other. Arya has escaped and is now heading for Riverrun.
Theon forsook the Starks and mainly managed to help Bolton's bastard and otherwise spread misery.
Jon went out on a great ranging and discovered quite a lot about what the wildlings are up to, such as that they were searching for something but are now heading south. He's going undercover to find out more. But I'm worried that he'll go so deep undercover that neither he nor anyone else will know if he is wildling or watchman.
Bran had a bit of a go at being lord of Winterfell but ended up on the run and will probably have an adventure a bit like Arya's, as will Osha and Rickon.
The other forces of Winterfell are around somewhere. I expect they will help Robb but I also expect it will be a long time before he gets home.
Catelyn tried to stop Renly and Stannis from fighting but has ended up largely forgotten at Riverrun. All that fending off Tywin Lannister was probably for nothing since they turned up unexpectedly at King's Landing instead. In fact I wonder if the whole Riverrun thing was just a feint.
Jaime Lannister spent the whole book in a dungeon. He was almost rescued by Tyrion; he might have been killed by Catelyn.
Tyrion pretty much ensured the battle at King's Landing was won, but I suspect he won't receive any thanks for it. Everyone is either annoyed about the fires, wants to kill him, or has failed to notice what he has done.
And Dany trekked across the desert, had some adventures, and his now heading back with her dragons and some Dothraki to Westeros, or wherever Ilyrio wants her to go.
This has been the traditionally depressing middle book of the trilogy and I am sure that in the third part, good will prevail over evil and everyone will live happily ever after.
Who will end up on the throne? Arya is sufficiently badass to become the first Queen of the Seven Kingdoms. Or it might be Dany. Bran has superpowers that would be very useful for a king, or possibly a hand. Or he might be Varys: The Next Generation. It can't be a Lannister, surely, or else why bother with all these novels? And it had better not be a Greyjoy or a Bolton. Personally I think the best possible king would be Hodor.
ACoK 69: Bran 862
Finally we find out what Bran has been up to all this time: hiding out in the crypt with Osha, Hodor, Rickon, Meera and Jojen. Apparently they just made some false tracks to the woods, send the wolves on to make more tracks (which Theon wasted his afternoon trying to follow before killing the Miller and his family in exasperation) and then doubled back to hide in the last place anyone would look, right underneath Winterfell.
Bran can mind-meld with his wolf at will now, and like a virtual reality addict or a kid who can't stop playing Fortnite, needs to be reminded to eat and go to the toilet. He learns that Winterfell has been burned, so they make their way out of a crypt with a brief dramatic interlude while we find out whether or not Hodor can open door with rocks jammed against it.
We get direct confirmation that it was Bran who helped Jon, though Bran is not sure how and whether he really did that.
Everyone is dead except for Maester Luwin, who advises them to split up just before he dies (with a helping hand from Osha) but is a little unclear on where they should go since war is everywhere. Osha and Rickon head east and along the kingsroad (maybe they will make it to Riverrun), while Bran, Meera and Jojen head north. I'm not sure where they might end up. The wall?
Bran can mind-meld with his wolf at will now, and like a virtual reality addict or a kid who can't stop playing Fortnite, needs to be reminded to eat and go to the toilet. He learns that Winterfell has been burned, so they make their way out of a crypt with a brief dramatic interlude while we find out whether or not Hodor can open door with rocks jammed against it.
We get direct confirmation that it was Bran who helped Jon, though Bran is not sure how and whether he really did that.
Everyone is dead except for Maester Luwin, who advises them to split up just before he dies (with a helping hand from Osha) but is a little unclear on where they should go since war is everywhere. Osha and Rickon head east and along the kingsroad (maybe they will make it to Riverrun), while Bran, Meera and Jojen head north. I'm not sure where they might end up. The wall?
ACoK 68: Jon 850
Everyone is dead except for Jon and Qhorin, who cooks up a scheme to send Jon undercover. They try to escape through caves but that eagle seems to know where they are going and leads the wildlings to them. Sure enough, Jon pretends to yield, and Qhorin orders Jon to kill him to make the whole thing look more realistic. That's some hardcore badassery right there.
The wildlings still might not believe in this defection but Ygritte, the girl Jon freed, is there and she vouches for him.
Jon thinks they might return north to the mountains, but the wildlings are heading south. Those silly kings should have listened to the Night's Watch, I think!
The wildlings still might not believe in this defection but Ygritte, the girl Jon freed, is there and she vouches for him.
Jon thinks they might return north to the mountains, but the wildlings are heading south. Those silly kings should have listened to the Night's Watch, I think!
ACoK 67: Tyrion 840
Tyrion wakes up and finds out that he's injured and no longer the hand. He remembers that Ser Mandon tried to kill him, and finds out that Pod saved him and killed Ser Mandon. Tyrion is suspicious of his sister, who he thinks may have set Mandon on him, and who might yet poison him. I'm not sure Cersei would be that direct. But it's all a mystery for now.
I'm trying to remember who Mandon is. GRRM has a way of making previously minor characters suddenly very important. You have to pay attention...or use the search feature. Sansa noticed Mandon had strange dead eyes back when she was comparing who she'd rather be lead around by; Mandon was the one who was guarding Cersei and whom Tyrion had to overrule to visit her (I'm not sure that would have annoyed him enough to want to kill Tyrion), and on that occasion Tyrion also noticed his lifeless eyes; Mandon was involved in rescuing Joffrey from the crowd on the way back from seeing Myrcella onto a ship; and he rode out of the postern door alongside Tyrion in the final battle.
Hmm, he seems to hang around working for Cersei, but no other clues there, apart from those lifeless eyes, whatever that might mean.
I'm trying to remember who Mandon is. GRRM has a way of making previously minor characters suddenly very important. You have to pay attention...or use the search feature. Sansa noticed Mandon had strange dead eyes back when she was comparing who she'd rather be lead around by; Mandon was the one who was guarding Cersei and whom Tyrion had to overrule to visit her (I'm not sure that would have annoyed him enough to want to kill Tyrion), and on that occasion Tyrion also noticed his lifeless eyes; Mandon was involved in rescuing Joffrey from the crowd on the way back from seeing Myrcella onto a ship; and he rode out of the postern door alongside Tyrion in the final battle.
Hmm, he seems to hang around working for Cersei, but no other clues there, apart from those lifeless eyes, whatever that might mean.
Thursday, 18 October 2018
ACoK 66: Theon 827
Oh Theon, you utter nincompoop. The general advice is that he's lost. Various northmen armies are assembling outside the walls and Theon has 17 men to defend Winterfell with. He should probably just surrender, but that would be too easy.
So he threatens to hang Ser Rodrick's only daughter unless he calls off the attack. But Rodrick is duty-bound to attack. What a dilemma. Theon gives him until midnight but it's pretty obvious that whether he hangs the girl or not, he's getting attacked, and since everyone hates him, he's getting killed.
Maester Luwin suggests he take the black, which doesn't seem like a bad idea to Theon. Seems like a bit of an easy escape route to me.
But then, just in the nick of time, Rescue! Rodrick and all his men get attacked by some mystery force bearing the tasteful flayed man banner. I think that is the Boltons' banner. They come through the gate, and we learn that the rescuers are led by none other than...
...Reek. To be honest at this point GRRM is getting a bit predictable: the badder the character, the less likely it is that bad things will happen to them. Theon is pretty bad, therefore he survives thanks to his smelly servant.
Except he's not smelly any more and he has nice armour. That's because he's really the Bastard of Bolton, aka Ramsay Snow, now calling himself Bolton. He was supposed to have been killed for mistreating his wife many chapters back, but it turns out he swapped identities with a servant to escape being hanged. Not the most honourable man is our Ramsay, he won the battle outside Winterfell by pretending to be Rodrick's friend: shook his hand then chopped his arm off.
And here he is being all friendly to Theon, who isn't smart enough to figure it out in time... So that's the problem with being a baddie in ASoIaF: it's no guarantee that good things will happen to you because an even badder baddie might come along at any minute.
So he threatens to hang Ser Rodrick's only daughter unless he calls off the attack. But Rodrick is duty-bound to attack. What a dilemma. Theon gives him until midnight but it's pretty obvious that whether he hangs the girl or not, he's getting attacked, and since everyone hates him, he's getting killed.
Maester Luwin suggests he take the black, which doesn't seem like a bad idea to Theon. Seems like a bit of an easy escape route to me.
But then, just in the nick of time, Rescue! Rodrick and all his men get attacked by some mystery force bearing the tasteful flayed man banner. I think that is the Boltons' banner. They come through the gate, and we learn that the rescuers are led by none other than...
...Reek. To be honest at this point GRRM is getting a bit predictable: the badder the character, the less likely it is that bad things will happen to them. Theon is pretty bad, therefore he survives thanks to his smelly servant.
Except he's not smelly any more and he has nice armour. That's because he's really the Bastard of Bolton, aka Ramsay Snow, now calling himself Bolton. He was supposed to have been killed for mistreating his wife many chapters back, but it turns out he swapped identities with a servant to escape being hanged. Not the most honourable man is our Ramsay, he won the battle outside Winterfell by pretending to be Rodrick's friend: shook his hand then chopped his arm off.
And here he is being all friendly to Theon, who isn't smart enough to figure it out in time... So that's the problem with being a baddie in ASoIaF: it's no guarantee that good things will happen to you because an even badder baddie might come along at any minute.
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