AFfC 15: Samwell 242

Sam is seasick. Everyone is seasick, except Maester Aemon who gets hypothermia. Ryanair would be better than this.

Sam is dreading seeing his father, but wants to see his mother. He's also not that keen on becoming a maester, but I reckon he'll probably warm to that.

We learn that Night's Watch brother Dareon has been sent off to go recruiting. He will replace Yoren, who mysteriously went missing (killed by GREGOR's men who later captured Arya, if I remember rightly). We also learn that Gilly has had to leave her real baby behind at Castle Black in order to stop Melisandre from getting the other baby who might have royal blood. That's a pretty sucky thing for Jon to do by any measure, no matter how much Aemon defends it as the best of multiple difficult choices. Sam is especially pissed off since he went to considerable effort to get Gilly and her baby to Castle Black in the first place.

AFfC 14: Brienne 224

Brienne and Pod travel to Maidenpool. She learns about the Hound and Lord Beric and his outlaws. She also learns that Lysa is dead and Littlefinger is in charge of the Eyrie for now. She's planning on going there anyway, hopefully just in the nick of time to save Sansa.

She meets up with her old friends from Bitterbridge, where she had ridden to Renly's side only to be horribly mocked and teased for being a woman daring to fight. They take her to see Randyll Tarly, who at Bitterbridge had blamed her for daring to be a woman hanging out around soldiers. All Brienne had wanted was to fight for Renly. Now Tarly is in charge of Maidenpool. He doesn't know where Sansa Stark is but he does know that Lysa Stark is dead and that makes Brienne think that Sansa is unlikely to be at the Eyrie. So close and yet so far!

Instead she meets Nimble Dick who tells her he tricked the fool and two girls who thought they were buying passage across the narrow sea. For a price he will take Brienne to the two girls, whoever they are. But he's probably trying to fool Brienne as well. I wonder how that works out for him.

AFfC 13: The Soiled Knight 208

Ser Arys Oakheart, who I'd forgotten about, was sent by Tyrion to look after Myrcella, who was sent by Tyrion to marry a Dornish prince for the purpose of uniting families. Possibly it was also to prevent Arys from beating Sansa too much at Joffrey's command. Anyway, it turns out Doran Martell thinks Myrcella is in danger from those who might want to precipitate a war with the Lannisters. So naturally Arys leaves her alone in the castle and goes off to fuck Doran's daughter. She then blatantly uses him for her own political schemes, namely trying to precipitate war by trying to put Myrcella on the Iron Throne. He's even more in thrall to his dick than Tyrion, this guy. I'm not sure vows of chastity are all that productive, to be honest.

AFfC 12: Cersei

Oh good grief it's another wedding. Hold onto your hats everyone! It's mostly a dull affair this time around, though. Cersei doesn't love Jaime any more. Word is getting around that the Hound has joined Lord Beric. But not that Catelyn has. Cersei remembers going to see an old fortune teller called Maggy who promised that Cersei would be queen until a younger queen came along to replace her. It's not exactly the prediction of the decade, that one, is it? But it makes Cersei paranoid about Margaery. But she probably should be. Margaery does seem particularly smooth with the social graces, in an annoying and suspicious way. And Cersei is told that one of her personal assistants is spying on her for Margaery.

To liven up proceedings, Cersei burns down a tower with magnesium. Then she sends Jaime off to make sure Margaery doesn't attempt to consummate the marriage, and goes herself to consummate something with a Kettleblack. Jaime will be happy, then.

AFfC 11: The Kraken's Daughter 178

Asha has come home to the Iron Islands from conquering on the mainland to get involved in all the choosing-a-new-king business. There's some family reunion stuff to deal with, like telling her mother about the fate of her probably- (and therefore almost certainly not) dead brother. There's a lovesick highschool sweetheart who is probably going to turn into a murderous incel at some point. For now, since Asha knows the path to true equality of the sexes and arms herself, she has the upper hand over him.

There's some doubt over whether Balon really did just accidentally fall off a bridge. There is an uncle who likes reading history (he prefers his history dead, because it is written in ink, instead of alive, where it is written in blood; very good). And there is the business of the kingsmoot, which is a turn-up for the books to Asha, but she's going to make the most of it by going there and trying to become queen.

AFfC 10: Sansa 163

Sansa is now in the unlucky position of having to cover up for Petyr Littlefinger's murder of her aunt Lysa. If she doesn't go along with this Petyr will probably end up dead and where does that leave Sansa? Also she is somewhat grateful that Petyr saved her from being murdered by Lysa, and apparently not clever enough to realise (or perhaps the truth is too terrible to contemplate) that he arranged that by kissing Sansa in full view of Lysa.

Everyone seems to agree that the various lords of the vale aren't going to be too happy with Petyr being in charge of the Eyrie. So he invites one of them up (Nestor) and flatters him into thinking that Lysa wanted him to inherit the castle at the bottom of the mountain that protects the approach to the Eyrie. He also makes sure (with some confusion over signatures) that Nestor has a vested interest in Petyr continuing to be in charge or the Eyrie. So that bit of the nine dimensional chessboard is sewn up. Meanwhile Sansa must continue to pretend to be his daughter, and the horrible little Lord Robert thinks of her as his new mother. Good grief what an unpleasant and dull existence. To think Sansa at one point thought she was going to be married to a handsome and chivalrous king of Westeros.

It's almost certain that Petyr is heading for a fall. And it will be a big one. But what is his next move?

AFfC 9: Brienne 146

I like Brienne's quest. It is like a computer RPG. Talk to NPCs. Find clues. Travel to next location hinted at by clues. Maybe get in a fight or two along the way.

Brienne does not have much luck until she reaches Duskendale. She goes to get her shield repainted.  Then she has a bath, and fondly remembers Jaime getting into the hot tub with her at Harrenhal. Poor Brienne is now in love with Jaime Lannister, it appears. Then she goes to meet the castellan of Duskendale and we get a history lesson about Dontos Hollard. Did we know he was called Hollard before now? I don't remember it. But his family and the Darklyns of Duskendale once took king Aerys captive. Tywin laid seige to the city and Barristan Selmy (now hanging out with Daenerys) rescued him. But it is said this episode is what made him mad. And it did not end well for the Hollards or the Darklyns, either: Dontos is all that is left of those families. And lots of people are looking for him now.

She has a flash of inspiration when she decides that a likely destination for Sansa would be the Eyrie, since Sansa has an aunt there. If she hears about Lysa's death and that Littlefinger is hanging out at the Eyrie, she might have a further flash of Scooby-doo logic. But for now she meets a Dwarf who seems to have seen someone like Dontos at Maidenpool, which is where Sam's father Randyll Tarly is for some reason. I suppose Dontos could have been picked up by a boat there, since we last saw him in the Blackwater. He was trying to get three people across the sea to Pentos, presumably. Not sure who the other two are. But it did not end well for him, since someone called Nimble Dick captured him and turned him in for a ransom. The dwarf is headed for King's Landing -- that seems like a dangerous place for a dwarf to be going with a lordship up for grabs for killing Tyrion. Do people know well enough what Tyrion looks like?

There was a battle in Duskendale between Stark troops and Randyll Tarly troops and Brienne sees the graves. But I can't remember reading about this particular battle before. A quick search finds that Tyrion was told by Bronn about Tywin sending Tarly to Duskendale to deal with some of Robb Stark's wolves. This was in the chapter where he is waking up after his injuries at the Battle of Blackwater. Tywin confirms this later in the chapter. Tyrion wonders why Robb would risk attacking Duskendale. Brienne and Jaime later planned to to find mounts at Maidenpool and ride via Duskendale and Rosby to King's Landing, but were captured by Vargo Hoat on the road to Duskendale, where Brienne finds herself now. Possibly the fighting was going on in Duskendale then. In a later Tyrion chapter, Varys tells him that Randyll Tarly won the battle outside Duskendale. The survivors are heading back towards Harrenhal where they will encounter GREGOR waiting for them. There is no mention at all of Duskendale in the first book. It's interesting how consistent GRRM is, though. He must have worked all the movements out with wargame miniatures or something.

On the way to Maidenpool, Brienne meets Tyrion's abandoned squire, Podrick Payne, who is also looking for Sansa for some reason.