ASoS 80: Sansa 1098

Sansa is a bit fed up at the Eyrie, since there isn't a lot going on and she doesn't have any friends. She builds a snow-Winterfell, but Petyr joins in and then kisses her. I'm pretty sure he knows Lysa will see and get jealous, and sure enough that's what happens.

Lysa is really a crazy cat lady. She summons Sansa and blames her for seducing Petyr. Then drags her to the Moon Door out of which is a sheer 600 foot drop. It's the door Tyrion would have been dropped out of had he lost his trial after Catelyn brought him to the Eyrie. Petyr turns up and saves Sansa.

We learn that Lysa wanted to marry Petyr before, and almost gave him a son, but Lord Hoster murdered the son (tansy being one of the ingredients of the poison, all of which explains Hoster's death-bed murmerings). Lysa spills the beans about Petyr telling her to kill Jon Arryn, which is how Ned Stark became King's Hand right at the beginning of all this. We also learn that Petyr told her to tell Catelyn that she suspected Lannisters of killing Jon Arryn. I'm not sure what this achieved apart from Ned doing some investigating: perhaps that helped him to get in trouble and get killed. I'm still not entirely sure what Petyr is trying to do but it is very complicated.

Anyway, having calmed Lysa down, Petyr pushes her out of the door. I suppose that has got her out of the way. Petyr will probably try to marry Sansa next, and become lord of Winterfell as well as the Eyrie.

Oh, and he put the blame on Marillion. That guy had it coming, to be honest.

ASoS 79: Jon 1087

Well I was wrong, then. Personally I would have taken the castle, married Val, had lots of sons and lived happily ever after. Ok, I probably would have had to go into battle for Stannis, so maybe not. But Jon isn't averse to a battle or two, I thought he'd go for it. I certainly wouldn't worry about chopping down a few silly trees, as Melisandre wanted him to, or have any kind of guilt trip for taking the Winterfell that should have belonged to others.

Jon decides he will stick with the watch, but before he can tell Stannis his decision, he is made Lord Commander anyway! Sam has deftly manipulated the situation. Sam is a player, not a pawn. Who would have thought?

ASoS 78: Samwell 1074

Stannis is getting annoyed that the Watch have not chosen a new commander yet. He's also pretty interested in Sam killing an Other with dragonglass, and luckily he has a supply of it on Dragonstone. Stannis shows Sam and Aemon his magic glowing sword, and for some reason Aemon is suspicious because it only glows and isn't hot. Melisandre is confusing because she seems to be simultaneously wrong (about Stannis being the chosen one of some prophecy), fraudulent (I'm sure a lot of the fire visions are suggestive, and she gives off a self-serving vibe), and correct (she does have magical powers -- though they're definitely more like Dark Magic with all the sacrifice and shadows). I think she's basically Wormtounge and Stannis is Theoden. Which makes Maester Aemon Gandalf.

Sam doesn't want Janos Slynt in charge and decides that if he can convince Mallister or Pyke to back the other then that might be averted, so he goes to have a word. Only he radically overstretches himself and ends up, more or less accidentally, pulling some Varys/Littlefinger style tricks and, through a series of lies, getting them to vote for Jon as well.

But Jon is going to be lord of Winterfell! Sam what have you done? Just when things were starting to look neat and tidy, you've gone and made it all complicated! I'm pretty sure Jon won't thank you, either. Oh dear, oh dear.

ASoS 77: Tyrion 1062

Tyrion gets rescued by Jaime and Varys. It looks like it will be a heartwarming brotherly reuninion (they do seem to get on pretty well for Lannisters). Then Jaime tells Tyrion the big secret: Tysha wasn't a whore after all. The whole thing was made up because Tywin thought she married Tyrion for the money. Tyrion is angry at Jaime for some reason (because I doubt Tywin gave him much choice). So he sends Jaime packing, telling him he did kill Joffrey (which just annoyed me because it is not helpful for anyone to lie about that).

Tyrion meets Varys who leads him down some tunnels. Then, against Varys's advice, he climbs a ladder, learns that Varys probably gets most of his information by listening through thin walls of secret passages, and kills both Shae and Tywin (while he was sat on the privy, no less). Tywin did not see that coming. And neither did I.

So who's in charge of the Seven Kingdoms now? Cersei? Good grief what a kerfuffle this is going to cause.

ASoS 76: Jon 1053

Only Janos Slynt and Alliser Thorne think Jon is a turncloak now. Everyone else thinks he's a hero for capturing the Big Horn, even though mainly he was hiding in a tent delivering a baby. This is the kind of stuff that happens when you're a character in a GRRM book.

He's summoned to meet Stannis. So Melisandre is still about, but so is Davos. It was Maester Aemon's letter he read in his last chapter, and that's why Stannis is here. I like this line from Stannis, which is really what Davos had told him: "I was trying to win the thronse to save the kingdom, when I should have been trying to save the kingdom to win the throne." Which does sound like excellent advice, and also the sort of honourable behaviour that won't go unpunished in a GRRM book. We'll see...

Anyway, Stannis has an interesting offer for Jon: Bend the knee, marry Val, and he'll remove the taint of bastardy to make Jon a Stark and install him as lord of Winterfell. I don't know how that works with the Night's Watch vows but since Stannis has just won them a major battle and saved them from total destruction they'll probably go along with it, though Alliser Thorne won't be happy. The marrying Val bit is a bit odd but Stannis also plans to let the wildlings settle the Gift south of the wall, and it's a way to keep them in check. In theory, since the Free Folk are free and do whatever they want. But marrying Val doesn't seem so bad; she's pretty reasonable. And Jon does want Winterfell. So he'll probably go for it. Or he might be all angsty and heartwrenchingly deny himself the chance of happiness and/or greatness for romantic ideas about loyalty to the watch.

ASoS 75: Samwell 1042

Sam is awesome. He's not only not craven, he's about the most decent person in Westeros (or at least in these books). He's come up with a touching plan to convince his father Lord Randyll (a Tyrell bannerman) that Gilly's son is his son so that she will be looked after in Horn Hill. I hope this will be the end of Gilly's story, and not the set up for some awful future turn of events...

We've also learned that Mance has been captured, Janos Slynt is trying to become Lord Commander but is not yet the favourite. Sam wants to try to influence the outcome in favour of Denys Mallister or Cotter Pyke, since Janos Slynt (Tywin's choice) would be awful.

And Sam knows that Bran is alive (since he met him) but has been made to promise, by both Bran and Coldhands, not to tell anyone, since Bran does not want and search parties looking for him.

ASoS 74: Arya 1027

Arya and the Hound visit an Inn. Who should be there but Polliver and The Tickler, GREGORs men who tortured the villagers, earning their place on Arya's list of People Who Must Die. They have a nice chat during which they learn the Joffrey is dead, that Tyrion is blamed, that he married Sansa, that she escaped, and that Arya is due to marry the Bastard of Bolton. Most of which Arya thinks is too ludicrous to believe.

Then they have a fight in which the Hound is almost killed but is saved by Arya, who kills Polliver's squire with Needle. I think this is actually the same Needle that they stole off her. They make there escape with weapons and money. Arya's list is a lot shorter. I think this counts as good news for a Stark, kind of. And things are looking less desperate for Jon, too. Could the tide be turning?

Things are not looking good for the Hound, whose leg wound is festering. Arya leaves him for dead. I'm a bit disappointed as it seemed like they were starting to make a good team. But I don't really blame Arya, who is thinking of all the people like Mycah he must have killed. She goes to the port town of Saltpans, sells her horse, and has a chat with a ship's captain. She wants to go north to the wall and find Jon, but the ship is going to Braavos. When she shows the captain the coin given to her by Jaqen H'ghar, she is offered her own cabin. And possibly the ship will go where she wants, too.

Just what is this coin and who is Jaqen H'ghar? And what does valar dohaeris mean?