Sansa goes up to the tower to look through the smoke for signs of Stannis' approaching army. She gets hassled by the Hound again. Then she visits Dontos in the godswood, who is drunk and wants a kiss. And also isn't going to be able to get her out of the city for ages. Probably until after the war, if you ask me. We also learn that there are limits to what Stannis can achieve by land because of the river and he could really do with more ships which won't arrive for a long time.
Then Sansa goes to bed, has terrible dreams, and wakes up to discover she's had her first "flowering". She tries to burn the evidence but gets caught in the act. Interestingly she pretends to Cersei to be more naive than she really is, claiming she was scared of the blood and expected it to be more magical, when in fact she's just scared of having to marry Joffrey. Cersei seems to buy that line, even if she sees straight through the lie that Sansa loves Joffrey with all her heart.
What if Sansa is going to get smarter without anyone noticing, and then take them all by surprise later on? Another clue to this might be Dontos pointing out that nobody pays lady Tanda's daughter any attention because she is too stupid. For that matter, is Tanda's daughter up to something?
Addendum: when Sansa got blood in the sink, she realised the maid would see it and her secret would be given away. She couldn't empty the sink because she doesn't have indoor plumbing. Let that sink in (yes, I know). She's the 1%; the nobility; and she doesn't have plumbing. That's how impoverished Westeros is.
Monday, 8 October 2018
Friday, 5 October 2018
ACoK 51: Jon 665
Jon is exploring the mountains, looking for Mance Rayder with the Halfhand and Stonesnake. They spot a fire up on a mountain pass. Jon and Stonesnake climb up and attack the camp. One of the wildlings is a girl and Jon, being a big softy, takes her captive.
She tells a pretty awesome story of an old wildling king who, insulted by the then Lord Brandon Stark (but we don't know which one or how long ago), snuck into Winterfell and pretended to be a singer. He wooed Stark's only daughter and she bore him a son. Years later, in a battle, the son killed his father, not knowing it was his father. He took the head back on a spear and his mother saw and hurled herself off a tower in grief. All of which is an excellent tragedy, and if true leaves the current generation of Starks descended from wildlings.
Halfhand rejoins and points out they can't look after prisoners. He leaves Jon to kill her. But he's still a softy, and frankly if you ask me it wouldn't be very Stark-like to kill a prisoner in cold blood, so he let's her go. Like most good deeds in Westeros I'm sure this one won't go unpunished.
She tells a pretty awesome story of an old wildling king who, insulted by the then Lord Brandon Stark (but we don't know which one or how long ago), snuck into Winterfell and pretended to be a singer. He wooed Stark's only daughter and she bore him a son. Years later, in a battle, the son killed his father, not knowing it was his father. He took the head back on a spear and his mother saw and hurled herself off a tower in grief. All of which is an excellent tragedy, and if true leaves the current generation of Starks descended from wildlings.
Halfhand rejoins and points out they can't look after prisoners. He leaves Jon to kill her. But he's still a softy, and frankly if you ask me it wouldn't be very Stark-like to kill a prisoner in cold blood, so he let's her go. Like most good deeds in Westeros I'm sure this one won't go unpunished.
Wednesday, 3 October 2018
ACoK 50: Theon 650
Theon has captured Winterfell with only 30 men, which is a bit of a precarious situation. So naturally he spends the night shagging while his 12 year old ward sleeps at the foot of his bed, as you do. So he misses the escape of the Stark boys, and Jojen and his sister, aided by Osha and Hodor.
Osha, I take it all back. All is forgiven, I was wrong, the Starks are clearly better judges of character than me.
Theon knows that without the Starks as captives it will be easy for the northern lords to re-take Winterfell. But he's mainly worried about looking like an idiot in front of his sister. Again.
He plays good cop bad cop with the small-folk and wonders why they hate him. He's basically Joffrey but with less self-confidence. Anyway, he spends all day running around following trails to nowhere and then Reek shows him a wolf brooch in a bag and suddenly he knows just where to look. But we'll have to wait for another chapter to find out what that's all about.
Osha, I take it all back. All is forgiven, I was wrong, the Starks are clearly better judges of character than me.
Theon knows that without the Starks as captives it will be easy for the northern lords to re-take Winterfell. But he's mainly worried about looking like an idiot in front of his sister. Again.
He plays good cop bad cop with the small-folk and wonders why they hate him. He's basically Joffrey but with less self-confidence. Anyway, he spends all day running around following trails to nowhere and then Reek shows him a wolf brooch in a bag and suddenly he knows just where to look. But we'll have to wait for another chapter to find out what that's all about.
ACok 49: Tyrion 640
Tyrion is sending all his mountain men into the woods to do guerrilla warfare against his enemies; presumably Stannis's approaching men. He's getting the city ready for a battle and gets Bronn to burn the structures that have been built against the outside of the walls.
Production of gunpowder is up, since the magic spells used to make it are better, since there are now dragons in the world again.
Tyrion has learned about Theon taking over Winterfell and even he is taken aback by it.
The complicated plan to get Jacelyn Bywater to look after Tommen seems to have worked out.
Salloreon and assorted merchants calling themselves Antler Men are plotting to help Stannis take over.
So ends another day in the plotting and scheming of Tyrion, and I still don't know what that chain is for.
Production of gunpowder is up, since the magic spells used to make it are better, since there are now dragons in the world again.
Tyrion has learned about Theon taking over Winterfell and even he is taken aback by it.
The complicated plan to get Jacelyn Bywater to look after Tommen seems to have worked out.
Salloreon and assorted merchants calling themselves Antler Men are plotting to help Stannis take over.
So ends another day in the plotting and scheming of Tyrion, and I still don't know what that chain is for.
ACoK 48: Daenerys 628
Dany goes to see Pyat Pree and the House of the Undying Ones. The whole place seems dodgy as hell, Dany has to go in alone and it is said that people go in and never go out. All her friends tell her it's a really bad idea. So, obviously, in she goes.
She has to keep turning right, which is impossible. But she does it anyway. The House of the Undying Ones is like the inside of the Tardis. Doors open and weird things happen inside that are presumably symbolic of something or other, but I can never work stuff like that out. I'm pretty sure the guy with the wolf's head represents some Stark or other, but that's about it.
Eventually Dany gets to chat with the Undying Ones themselves, fat lot of good that they are. They whisper in riddles, show her more visions and try to attack her. She escapes, only to be attacked with a knife by Pyat Pree who gets whipped by Jhogo.
Probably if you Google it you'll find thousands of theories about what the stuff in this chapter meant, but I'll wait until I've finished all the books before doing that, because spoilers.
She has to keep turning right, which is impossible. But she does it anyway. The House of the Undying Ones is like the inside of the Tardis. Doors open and weird things happen inside that are presumably symbolic of something or other, but I can never work stuff like that out. I'm pretty sure the guy with the wolf's head represents some Stark or other, but that's about it.
Eventually Dany gets to chat with the Undying Ones themselves, fat lot of good that they are. They whisper in riddles, show her more visions and try to attack her. She escapes, only to be attacked with a knife by Pyat Pree who gets whipped by Jhogo.
Probably if you Google it you'll find thousands of theories about what the stuff in this chapter meant, but I'll wait until I've finished all the books before doing that, because spoilers.
Monday, 1 October 2018
ACoK 47: Arya 609
Arya is filching tarts from Hot Pie when Vargo Hoat comes back with prisoners, and they're Roose Bolton's men. This is a bit of a worry, so when she sees Jaqen next she asks him to help her free the prisoners so they can take over Harrenhal. Pretty impressive for a ten-year-old.
He says no, so Arya asks him to kill himself as her third wish. He hesitates and she says if he helps her then she'll change the name. This is a stunning bit of chutzpah. Arya really is playing with fire: here's a sorcerer who can make dogs chew men's faces off and she's tricked him into doing her bidding. Which is bound to piss him off and once his debt is repaid he'll be presumably free to put a hex on Arya for her cheek.
For now it works, though, and Jaqen has Arya order a vat of hot broth from the kitchen which Jaqen and his men pour over the guards, freeing the prisoners. But it turns out that Vargo Hoat was working with the Roose Bolton all along. The prisoners aren't prisoners at all, they're not injured. Bolton duly takes over the castle.
All of which leaves me wondering what Arya has achieved, save using up he last wish and being promoted to Bolton's personal wine-pourer. I'm not quite sure why she hasn't revealed her true identity to Bolton, but going home to Winterfell might not be a great idea right now anyway.
Jaqen changes his appearance in front of Arya's eyes before making his getaway (and giving her a secret coin and secret password to find him again). The list of characters who have directly witnessed magic happening is growing.
He says no, so Arya asks him to kill himself as her third wish. He hesitates and she says if he helps her then she'll change the name. This is a stunning bit of chutzpah. Arya really is playing with fire: here's a sorcerer who can make dogs chew men's faces off and she's tricked him into doing her bidding. Which is bound to piss him off and once his debt is repaid he'll be presumably free to put a hex on Arya for her cheek.
For now it works, though, and Jaqen has Arya order a vat of hot broth from the kitchen which Jaqen and his men pour over the guards, freeing the prisoners. But it turns out that Vargo Hoat was working with the Roose Bolton all along. The prisoners aren't prisoners at all, they're not injured. Bolton duly takes over the castle.
All of which leaves me wondering what Arya has achieved, save using up he last wish and being promoted to Bolton's personal wine-pourer. I'm not quite sure why she hasn't revealed her true identity to Bolton, but going home to Winterfell might not be a great idea right now anyway.
Jaqen changes his appearance in front of Arya's eyes before making his getaway (and giving her a secret coin and secret password to find him again). The list of characters who have directly witnessed magic happening is growing.
ACoK 46: Bran 599
Hard to believe, but Theon's plan seems to be working so far. Ser Rodrick has gone off to the rescue of Torrhen's Square and Theon has been able to take over Winterfell with a handful of thugs. He's forced Bran to yield, but the smallfolk can see through it. The blacksmith, Mikken, refuses to yield and gets a spear through the neck for his trouble. Even poor Hodor gets a beating. Theon is going for the Joffrey style of rule, and I can't see it working out any better for him. Theon wasn't there at the end of AGoT when all the lords were getting excited about Robb being the King in the North. I'm sure they'll help him re-take Winterfell at their earliest convenience.
Osha has joined with Theon. Either she's up to something clever, I'm about to get payoff for thinking the Starks are mad for keeping her around in the first place.
Osha has joined with Theon. Either she's up to something clever, I'm about to get payoff for thinking the Starks are mad for keeping her around in the first place.
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